The famous psychologist John Grey once wrote, “Sex is like fighting, you should enjoy it the way you would enjoy running a marathon.” I’ll admit that sometimes, I can’t even watch a movie without getting the “screen” and my body in “fight” mode. It’s hard to fight with myself to just enjoy what I’m doing and what my partner is doing. But Grey’s theory of enjoyable fighting has led me to the conclusion that sex can be enjoyed.
Just because casual sex has not only been legitimized in recent years, but veritably been made the social standard, doesn’t mean that it’s always super healthy. The ubiquity of porn, media examples, and above all, the swiping model of dating apps have all contributed to a society where hookup culture can be the default — “If having sex was once taboo, not having it is today,” says Washington Post columnist Christine Emba in her book Rethinking Sex: A Provocation. This pressure to hook up can lead to having — and even seeking out — sex when you don’t really, genuinely want it.
But that isn’t to say that casual sex is itself a problem — approached properly, if anything, it can be and is empowering, liberating, and most importantly, pleasurable. The key is knowing that you’re in it because you want to be (pun not intended), and you’re aware of and prepared against potential consequences, like catching something (be it feelings or STDs). So long as that’s true, you should go forth and get laid.
How do I feel about casual sex?I admit I totally get into it, like a tiny little bit.
Last summer, I did a day of screenless date-y sex with a guy I liked (or at least, I liked talking to him). It was one of those casual dates, the kind where I get dressed up and meet him in a “safe” area (usually the lobby of a movie theater or a restaurant) with the plan of going somewhere fun and/or sexually charged. We ended up going for drinks at a bar. While he and I were pretty connected while we drank (we talked, we laughed, we touched, and, well, he was way into the sex talk which was attractive), we somehow, without planning it, turned into the bar that plays more music, that offers pinball machines, that has arcade games and a private dance club.
It was way more fun than a lot of sex I had prior to that
Hookup sites aren’t the problem; everyone can and should have access to sexual options and unlimited free trials. You don’t need to know someone at all in order to have a one-night stand, and it’s a shame that many women fear and loath casual sex so much. If you’re meeting someone new, always ask “What’s your deal?” Casual sex, if done in the right way, is not just socially okay — it’s totally exciting. So, if you’re on the lookout for casual sex, why exactly are you even here? Casual sex might not be for everyone — but casual sex is for me. All the things you’ve ever heard and don’t want to hear about sex (safe sex, “slutty” girls who have sex for free, etc.) apply, but in the sex positive bedroom, no one’s looking at your prior sexual history. You can say yes to someone that you’ve been a little unsure about in the past because you’ve finally reached a place where you’re ready to open up about past sex partners and what you want. Try it; you’ll be fine. When I was younger I thought I’d never have sex before I met someone I trusted. But after I’m now far too mature to deal with that situation. Casual sex is great because you can get someone’s hopes up and then pull the rug out from under them without any guilt whatsoever. The main idea that everyone’s trying to drive home when it comes to casual sex is that it’s an act of good will on your part. There’s a satisfaction that comes from doing something nice for someone. I’ve found that people who practice casual sex are always very considerate of their partners — they don’t get jealous and they are always open to their desires and even to questions about their own sex life. OkCupid isn’t letting casual sex slip through their fingers. If you’re not single (and even if you are, hey, we all don’t have to be), you can tap into their OkCupid Look-up feature, allowing you to gather data on the members of the site. That’s an option for your online dating profile, your bi-weekly winks, and your Advanced and Ultimate tier accounts. Most casual sex portals, such as this app, ask members to confirm their age through Facebook, because they want to make sure the sexual partners in their system are not underage. Confirming your age on all platforms, such as on the app, Facebook and